07 March 2008

71 Days - Helper

I think for a long time, I had a faulty view of what my role would be as a wife. I mistakingly thought that my future husband would be perfect-no weaknesses, no sins that would annoy me, that I would be in awe of his ability to do everything. However, this is not true. All people are sinful (Romans 3:23)
We all have weaknesses, which may or may not be sinful in nature. These weaknesses were present before the fall-hence the reason why it was not good for man to be alone, that he needed a helper--Eve, his wife.

Carolyn Mahaney spoke at a women's conference on "Watching Your Man". How to serve your husband by being a true helpmate-a wife who uses her strengths to help her husband, who picks up the slack where he falls short, and gently encourages him towards godliness even when that involves rebuking/correcting.
Here are some of the main points:

1. God made woman to be a helper for man.Marriage is about love and friendship-part of friendship is helping each other. Proverbs 27:6

2. Know how to correct and how not too. Avoid self-righteousness, be respectful. God commands us to inspect our own heart before inspecting his. Humility is far more important than insight. Being humble will help your husband accept your insight.

3. Know what to correct and what not to correct. We have four options: overlook, forebear, lovingly drop it, and persist. Must distinguish between important and non-important. Ask God for wisdom to pick our battles.

As much as I love James, he is sinful and he has weaknesses. I must admit that I, too, have many weaknesses and am quite sinful.

God has already showed me how our individual strengths and weaknesses work quite nicely together. For example:

James is Mr. Detail-Oriented, especially in the little things. Each purchase he makes, each gift he gives, each project he completes has been combed over thoroughly. I, on the other hand, am a fast-paced worker-I tend to value efficiency over quality in the details, which has been one of the criticisms I receive most at work and school "slow down Melissa, take your time and pay attention to the little things." Sometimes deadlines are present and we can't pay as much attention to little things, but must focus on the big picture and often it is the little things that make a big difference and they shouldn't be overlooked.

James can't multi-task at all. He is the typical boy-one thing at a time. Often this annoys me as I get discouraged when he can't follow my conversation as I jump from item to item. I however pride myself as little Miss Multi-tasker. Sometimes we need to be able to multi-task and other times we need to focus.

James is patient, beyond words and kind beyond belief. I must confess to being passionate to the point that I often over-react. Both of us need to strike a balance between when to be patient and when to act.

I thank God for creating me with gifts and talents that will compliment James' gifts and talents. I pray daily that God prevents me from being prideful of my gifts or being critical of James' weaknesses, but focus on how I can best serve him and improve my weaknesses and avoid my personal sins. I truly do long to be a good helper and need God's help to do that.

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