So, I've been thinking about marriage a lot recently-figures since I'll be married in 81 days!
Aside from all the excitement, I do find myself mysteriously sad at times. Talk of changing my name, merging bank accounts, adding him to my Verizon service, possibly changing to his church, etc...I've had times when I've thought 'I'm losing me!' It's like once you get married you're no longer yourself-you're this new person who's now connected/part of this other person. While I love James dearly, I find that often my depraved selfish side rises up and wants to remain independent, do my own thing, spend my own money, be me and only me-disconnected from anyone.
God continues to graciously calm these independent streaked moments with the reminder that yes-marriage means giving up yourself and being eternally connected to someone else. In fact, in God's eyes it's a brand new being- the two become one in his sight. God won't see Melissa attached to James or James now attached to Melissa-but a brand new thing-mysterious!
This is such a mirror of the gospel. Once God graciously saves us, Scriptures tells us we're new creatures. We're now connected to Christ, indwelled by the Holy Spirit--forever. Preparing for marriage and dealing with the fact that in a few months I will be the same Melissa yet also a very different, brand new Melissa has given me a new appreciation for the fact that 22 years ago I truly became a new Melissa, though the same old Melissa is still in there, I'm a very different Melissa-a new creature in Christ's salvation.